Valentine's Day Bust or Boom

So Valentine's Day is coming up. It's a time to celebrate love, blah, blah, blah. This will be my 1st V-Day in six years to be single and I'm not going to sit around and dwell on it. In fact V-Day not only marks the time of the year to celebrate love, it marks the one year anniversary of the end of my last relationship. One year, one very long year. In the past year I've rode a roller coaster full of emotions, from highs to lows. I've held my head up high in defiance, I've sulked into a pool of self doubt. It's the end of the 1st time I tasted love, swallowed down like a bitter pill. Most days I'm good. I still fall back to the comfortable memories in moments of isolation but my friends have been a lifeline from keeping me from drowning. I love them for that. Their efforts and kindness will never go unforgotten, even when they were unaware of the impact a subtle invite for a night out. Through the past year I've stepped outside of my comfort zone. I've chose new roads to follow and met many people along the way. I've put myself out there again to be accepted or rejected but otherwise to live again. I've made new friendships that I cherish along with reunions of friendships past. I've drifted between social circles that I never knew existed and with each brave new approach, learned something new about myself as well. In moments of loss we can give up, we can die on the inside, and remain in a state of limbo. I was apart of this disease, I was rotting at the core. When I hit bottom I realized that I couldn't stay there. It was not the place for me. My attitude has always been that of an optimist and my self conscious would pull me back up. I chose to push on, to fight for my own survival in a sense. I was torn to the bone but I was building myself back, piece by piece, moment by moment. As I type now I've reached a height that I've never before. I've learned more about myself in one year's time than I've learned in the rest of my lifetime. I feel comfortable in my own skin, something that I've never been before. I see things in people that I never noticed for I was too selfish to care. Despite my loss of love and a relationship, I am better now because of what I've gone through. I know what it is to love others and not just myself and that makes me smile more than anything. So despite Valentine's Day being a reminder of something I lost not long ago, I will look at it as the birthday of the new me, the beginning and not the end. I know love will find me in it's own time and I will now know how to nurture it when it comes my way. So to anyone who is alone during this special time, you have a friend and love in me, count on that.